Friday is finally here!

Looking forward to: hanging out with friends, getting more settled, earning money, time at home, getting back on the exercise bandwagon.

Dreading: Long lonely metro ride home tonight, babysitting tomorrow, possible uncomfortablness with The Boy, spending money, too much snow to run outside.

I only own one blazer. And starting next week, I'm going to have to wear a matching blazer/skirt or pants set everyday in the event that I have to go onto The Floor. That justifies the purchase of a work suit, right? Or two or three... Amazing how I can almost always make spending money seem ok even though I don't have much to spend.

There's this reception tonight at a local bar - welcome back sponsored by some lobbying groups. It's supposed to be packed but none of my close work friends are going. Acquaintances, yes, but not friends. Is it bad of me to skip it? As a single gal, I'm trying to be more social. But the idea of cramming into a bar with a bunch of political types and people I don't know isn't appealing. At least not appealing enough to override my dread of the long commute home (I'm really going to have to get over that someday). Aww, heck. I must make a decision (another resolution: be more decisive).

UPDATE: Didn't go and I'm fine with that. My nice evening at home more than made up for it.

I'm not digging the service I'm using for my comments. I can't see who wrote the message. I don't get emails when someone posts like I did before. Maybe I could futz with it. What do you use? What's the best and easiest option?

Richard Schiff aka Toby Ziegler on West Wing was sitting at the booth behind me at lunch the other day. I could remember his name at the time otherwise I would have introduced myself. Too cool - LOVE his character.

Isn't freaky how right on fortune cookies can be?

I now officially live in Virginia. Not that I've registered my car or my vote yet but that's where I sleep, wake, and reside. So far so good. I'm going to have to get used to the longer commute but thousands of people do it everyday so it can't be that bad, right?

I will add to the general sentiment that, no matter where you're going and for what reason, moving sucks. It's expensive. It sucks time (particularly when the UHaul pick up system was designed to be as least efficient as possible). It's physically painful and mentally draining. But once it's done and you're settled into your new place, it feels good. It feels fresh and clean and full of hope.

I'm making a new resolution to be positive. And keep my crap neat and clean. And stay in touch with friends. And be social. And do things for me like exercise, get a good night's rest, and not waste money. My New Year started January 25, not January 1.

The Boy went to the DMV to get his driver's license. He hasn't had a valid license since I've known him and has used every excuse in the book not to. I was enabling him I suppose. Now that I'm "gone," he's making the effort to get it. Failed the written test but I'm sure he'll try again. I'm proud of him.

I've switched to comment this for my comments. let's see how this goes. nothing fancy, just givin' ya a place to tell me sumin'

This week is one big ball of annoyance. Until I move and get settled in, I'm completely on edge. Nothing is going smoothly. I'm anxious about the timing of everything, if I'm wasting people's time in asking them to help me move since I don't have too much left, am I going to be ready to go when the van arrives, is having an out of town friend visit tomorrow and Friday going to screw things up too much, is The Boy going to be any wierder than he already is? The list goes on and on. By this time Saturday, I hope to feel much better. How does your week look now that we're halfway through?

I love me a three day weekend but it throws my sense of timing completely out of whack. Today's Tuesday - I know that means something but I don't know what.

My entire weekend was full of packing, cleaning, and moving. And I'm not done. I'll be totally out of "our" apartment on Saturday when I move my furniture. I cannot wait. The Boy was acting weird this morning and it creeped me out.

I love ya, man, but you have to hold it together. High pitched war cries just don't do it for me.

My crush walked by and damn, he smells good.

I was just wondering why my comments link wasn't showing up on any of my posts. Come to learn, BlogSpeak is down. I wonder how long I should wait before getting a new service. Annoyance.

I could give a crap about the Jacko nonsense. Report it on the news, fine, but don't interrupt my quality TV time to tell me he was 21 minutes late for the hearing. Geesh.

I'm sorry this board has become a place for me to vent about my relationship issues but that's the all-encompassing issue in my life at the moment so so be it.

I'm frustrated that things have happened during the course of our relationship to make me lose my sense of unconditional trust. He's lied about his cocaine use since day one and he won't admit it. And I seriously don't believe him when he says he hasn't fooled around with anyone else while we were together. I could just accept these things as faults and move on. But I've turned into a paranoid, neurotic freak - checking up on him, searching for evidence of lies and infidelity, reading into situations, being skeptical of each and every little thing. I hate that I've become this way. I desperately hope this won't be a problem with future relationships. But in the meantime, I'm really pissed at him. I deserve the truth and he owes it to me to be honest. Crap, crap, crap. I don't know if this "we can be friends" thing is going to work.

Over the summer I caught The Boy fooling around with a girl I've come to hate. Yet, she's part of our social group so I've had to endure her presence a number of times, much to my dismay. After my recent split, I shared that tidbit with another friend who was very understanding. She was planning a happy hour and purposely picked a night when evilcuntsuckingwhoredog couldn't come. I know it's kind of spiteful but it feels good to have a friend do something like that for me. They Boy wouldn't even do that (even more reason to be ok with the split). Another friend I trusted with the experience didn't do that. And this friend did. I'm not used to that kind of loyalty. I'm I evil to like it?

This is the first time I've been single since 1996. I don't know how to BE single. Time to learn, I guess.

Tuesday after begin starving all morning, I was still starving when I left work. I was drooling over dinner plans at a Mexican place. On my way to the restaurant, I hit a curb and popped my tire. Three hours later and $117 lighter, I have a new tire but still haven't eaten. I won't bore you with all of the minutiae that caused the chip on my shoulder to grow into a boulder but stepping on a dead squirrel on the way home was the kicker. I hope your Tuesday was much better.

I'm not a HUGE eater but I must consume food. Physical problems set in very quickly if I don't. As soon as I sat down at my desk this morning to enjoy my yogurt, I was asked to cover the phones in another office. Thinking it wouldn't be for long, I left without eating. It is now after my lunch time and I have yet to consume one morsel of food (the two chocolates and one jelly bean from the candy jar where I'm sitting don't count. That was emergency I'm-getting-a-headache-and-starting-to-see-spots consumption). Add to that, they won't let me watch my show. Grrr...hurry up with your damn meeting already!

At dinner last night, we enjoyed woo woos. Tastey. I'd never had one before but I hear you can get them as shots. And they're enjoyed by underagers everywhere. All these newfangled drinks. A girl can't keep up. Tonight: margartias a Mexican place. I'm all up to date on those, I think. Tomorrow: beer at the hockey game. I think cheap beer is a given for such occasions.

Have you had any unusual or fun drinks lately? Are you an open-minded drinker or do you stick to your favorites?

I'm feeling stronger everyday. The Boy and I are getting along ok for the time being. It's odd but not horrible. Everyone's been so kind and supportive - thank you for that. It has definitely helped strengthen my resolve.

In the meantime, I've found a place to live (assuming I pass the credit check thingy) with some great girls. It's going to be a good thing. Now I just need to pack and make the move. Any sadistic fools out there who want to help?

I have a jahahb! I've been interning for a while and they just offered me a permanent position! Whoohoo! Good to help dilute the bad.

I was a crazy woman last night. I'm going to try not to do that again. I was feeling a lot better this morning - positive, called a bunch of people about apartments, looking forward to starting over. Now I'm in a down slump again and have turned into a weeping idiot. Can someone fastforward time for me, please?

He left his cell phone at home. Monica called - her home and cell are programmed in his directory. I don't know who this girl is and she seemed surprised when a woman answered the phone. He's mentioned a work friend in Florida. Maybe this is her. But why does he have her home and cell numbers? And what is she doing calling him at 10pm when he's not in FL? My inner stalker is dying to get out. I should have let her leave a voice mail so I could check it and get a feel for things. Reverse lookup isn't giving me much other than it's a St. Petersburg number and a Ronald Nevares is registered for her home number. It's probably nothing and we are on a break but I'm skeptical. The self-aware part of me knows I'm looking for something to be mad at him about. I should let it go, right? I shouldn't ask him about her, right? Damn, I want to burn him/them.

I can't get any work done today so I'm not going to even try. My head hurts and I'm totally distracted by not-fun things. Time heals all wounds, right?

The Boy decided we should take a break. He needs to work through a lot of personal issues and thinks he needs to do it on his own. This is something I brought up a few months ago so I can't argue with the logic. I'm just absolutely shocked that he would go ahead with it. I guess it's a step in the right direction.

Needless to say, we were both a wreck last night. He left because he didn't want to be tempted to cuddle or anything. Deep down I know this is the right thing but I feel like crap. I didn't want him to leave last night. I totally wanted to snuggle with him this morning. It's going to be SO HARD to adjust to this. He's been my life for the past four years. I can't imagine not seeing him and talking to him and touching him. This sucks.

Plus I get to be the one who has to find a new place to live - always a fun endeavor (know anyone in DC looking for a roomie?). I'm a mess about it and there's no one here I can cry to. I don't have anywhere else to go. No one to hug me. I'm desperately trying to make plans to keep myself busy when all I really want to do is hang out with The Boy.

Grrr. I start to cry whenever I think about it so I'm going to try not to for a while. Pity party for me. Everyone's invited.

In a small world event, a guy I work with used to live with a friend of mine from a previous job. Turns out she and her BF have bought a boat and are sailing around the Caribbean. Can we say "jealous?"

A poll was done on the safest cities amongst other things. I quick peruse shows where I currently live in the top 10 unsafest cities. And 2 of my hometown's suburbs on the safest list.

Does anyone else notice a difference between the two lists? I haven't heard of most of the safe cities and knowing that at least two of them are suburbs makes me think many of the others are, too. Is suburban safety comparable to urban safety? What would happen if they looked at metropolitan areas, combining the city with the suburbs?

Do these comparisons seem skewed to anyone else?

The Boy and I need to have a chat but we (read: he) haven't been able to find the time. Monday he said he was working late. Got home after midnight and woke me up to talk about something important. As I was FULL ON asleep, I didn't engage. He called me at work yesterday but I certainly wasn't going to get into it while I was in the office. That night after work he had a going away party for a coworker (which he only told me about when I asked if he was going to be home that night) but didn't think he would be out late. At 2am he wakes me up to say he helped two friends reunite and could we talk now? 1) no, I'm sleeping and don't want to start what could be a long discussion at 2am and 2) nice of you to help friends but what about US? Today when I ask if he's going to be home tonight he tells me he previously made plans to meet other friends for drinks (we had agreed that we were going to keep each other informed of our social plans which he hasn't been doing well with), did I want to talk over lunch? ARGH! This is supposed to be a really important talk and he can't make it a priority. Me thinks he's trying to avoid it but he brought it up so we're sure as hell going to address it.

So over at Promoguy, he's been doing this Monday Mission thing. This is his last one so I thought I'd partake in the farewell party. A day late, yes, but still a worthy endeavor. Enjoy.

1. In the last week, what happened that made you feel loved beyond your wildest dreams?

The first-kiss scene in Cold Mountain made my head swim with desire. Does that count?

2. What was the last audio CD you paid money for?
[ from MM 1.3]

I can rarely answer this question since I rarely purchase CDs. Perhaps the best of U2 disk I bought last summer?

3. Has someone you know ever told you they had a terminal illness? What was it like for you when you found out. How did that change your relationship with them?
[ from MM 2.45]

Fortunately, no. I know my share of cancer survivors but as they survived, it wasn't terminal, right? The Big C is deafening, nonetheless. When my mother had cancer, it didn't hit me as strongly as it should. I attribute that to being young at the time and believing in the immortality of my parents. Looking back, that was a terrible time in my mother's life. How she survived both mentally and physically, I will never know. Our relationship didn't change much at the time but as an adult child, I have more respect and reverence for her life than I might have otherwise.

4. Do you have an accent? Are there any phrases or words you say that tip folks that you aren't from around these parts?
[ from MM 2.38]

I don't think I do but every once in a while my Great Lakes long A comes through. Bagel and bag and key words.

5. What's the difference between being a Father, and being a Daddy?
[ from MM 3.25]

Hmmm. Something to ponder. I think a Father is a long term role model who shapes your life and morals. He's there for support and tough love. A Daddy is the fun guy who's cool when you're little, uncool as a teen, and a great pal as an adult.

6. What is the most recent thing guilt has motivated you to do?
[ from MM 2.50]

Call my Grandmother on her birthday. I'm horrible about keeping in touch in a regular basis. This year when my mom reminded me of her birthday, I contemplated not calling but I felt bad for neglecting her in the past and bit the bullet. Answering machine - schawing!

7. How do you feel about tips and tipping? Do you feel obligated to tip even if your service is bad because you know the servers don't get paid much? If you've ever relied on tips for your income, how do you feel when you don't get any?
[This is a new one, had to throw in at least one more hot topic before I sign off]

I can't say I've ever had deplorable service so I usually cough up the minimum at least. It bothers me that companies who employ service folks can get away with paying them less knowing they'll get tips. On one hand, the customers are paying their salary either way. But as customers we're paying full price for the food or what have you (all of the profits going to the company) PLUS providing for the survival of the servers. It's a system that works out to the owners benefit. Imagine that.

BONUS: Will you still love me for the rest of my life?

Of course. Love can not be repealed.

Twice in the past week or so something has happened that, at one point, I wanted but now I'm not so sure. Ever have that feeling? I almost feel telepathic. Now if only I could control my powers. The world could be mine, all mine! Bwahaha!

Cheap gift givers - it's the thought that counts but how much do you think of me if I don't rank higher than the dollar store? Serious, it was a joke amongst my family this year that Grandma did all of her shopping at the cheap-o stores (while she got a VERY pricey bracelet from Poppie). I'm all for thriftiness but some things are worth the extra buck or two.

Example: In my stocking I got one of those dish washing sponges on a handle. The handle is hallow so you can fill it with dish soap which conveniently dispenses as you scrub. Y'all know what I'm talking about, right? Anyway, I was psyched because I love those things and was thinking about purchasing one myself. And something that benign couldn't be worth more than a dollar anyway.

Upon first use it served it purpose and all was well. Second use - the sponge fell off. Nice. I continued to use it by pressing it against what I was cleaning with the handle. Simple enough. The next day - the green scrubby thing disconnects from the sponge. Now I have a plastic tube full of dish soap, a yellow foam sponge, and a green Brillo type thing. Three gifts in one - score! Or maybe the $3 version at the grocery store would be a better buy.

Men's Fitness magazine came out with the Fittest/Fattest city list for 2003. DC is on the "fattest" list! I'm SURE we were on the "fittest" list somewhere not too long ago.

I checked out their methodology. For a lot of the categories they counted how many establishments there were per 100,000 people. Like how many bars, fast food restaurants, gyms/sporting goods retailers, health food stores, etc. They included smoking/anti-smoking laws and amount of traffic/road congestion, too. I can't put my finger on why but for some reason I don't think that's an accurate assessments of a city's fitness level. If you were trying to assess a city's health, maybe. But not how fit the population is. In most large cities there are going to be tons of bars, restaurants, and fast food places just because it's a large market and companies are going to invest in it. And how is traffic a factor? Do in-shape folks avoid traffic congested cities or something?

The only category that I thought was a good indicator was the percentage of obese people and those with health risks associated with being overweight. They didn't survey the population to see how many people exercise on a regular basis. Or how many people are in shape. Or how much time and money is invested in getting/staying in shape. Or how much is invested in "active" activities like biking, walking, etc. They did include a category for open space and parks but what about how much those parks are used, how much of the budget is invested in keeping those parks in good condition, or encouraging the use of outdoor space like bike trails and organized sports, etc.?

DC is a very active city. Gyms are always packed. No matter what the weather there are people outside exercising everyday. A lot of people bike or walk to work. There's quite a bit of open space that is used on a regular basis. The traffic congestion and pollution may not make DC healthy, but the people who live here are doing their best (for the most part) to stay in shape.

Honolulu, on the other hand, was the fittest city. Granted, there are probably a lot of health conscious folks in Hawaii. But I can see how their score would be skewed by this survey. Hawaii is such a limited market, as isolated as it is. There isn't a lot of space for multiple versions of the same establishment - how many McD's can one fit on an island? Plus, there are tons of specialized restaurants that many not be considered fast food but certainly aren't healthy. Hawaii is lucky in that much of the island has been designated as protected space despite pressure to expand development. And being an island way out in the ocean with plenty of ocean breezes and currents keeps the air and water pollution down.

Having seen a good portion of this country, my observation is that DC is far from fat in comparison to many cities, my hometown of Buffalo included. I would challenge the Men's Fitness folks to put together a better methodology and get out there and see those cities for themselves.

The big news when I woke up today: Britney's getting an annulment and the crocodile hunter practically fed his kid to a gator. Whoa nelly! What kind of world do we live in if THIS is the top news?

UPDATE: the Britney bit is now "shocking news from Las Vegas." Pah. Lease.

I tried to post New Year's Eve but darn blogger wasn't working. I'm here now and that's all that matters, right? I was going to reflect on my past year but now...nah. I'll remember 2003 as the year I got my masters. Other than that, it was a frustrating transition year. I'm hoping 2004 goes better :P Resolutions - eh. I'm going to try to be more decisive and fiscally responsible. We'll see how that goes. When I've tried to do something specific like last year when I pledged to exercise more, things piddled out after a few months. I don't have much faith in my resolve but only time will tell.

My New Year's eve was very mellow. A friend invited me to her place. I hung out with very friendly strangers. A bunch of them were law school friends. I don't know why but I felt insecure. I got into law school and I have a graduate degree so it's not like they're smarter than me. They do make more money but hopefully that'll change. They were having such fun, I wish I had more friends like that. But I'd have to be more like that to attract friends like that. How lame am I?

The Boy was in FL with his dad. They went to the Gator Bowl yesterday (go Terps!). This is the second year in a row that they've gone. I'm glad he's having fun but I'm disappointed that I don't get to go and I can't spend NYE with my honey. We weren't together for Thanksgiving or Christmas, either. *pout* If this is going to be a tradition, I may have to insist on some changes. Demanding, huh?

I've been enjoying quiet time on my break. Exercising. Movies and TV he wouldn't want to watch. Baked an apple pie last night (yum). Makings for my favorite soup tonight (double yum).

I'm meeting an internet friend for the first time today. A bunch of us met on iVillagers YEARS ago and made our own little Yahoo! group. They're my closest friends. They know everything about me, almost. I don't know what I'd do without their support. *cheese* I've already met seven of them so Kathy will be my eighth. But I'm her first. I hope I make a good impression so her hubby doesn't think we're all freaks. Whenever I've met iVillagers, we automatically click and have a great time. I always leave wishing we lived closer because we'd have a blast in person. Today should be fun.

The rest of my weekend - cleaning and organizing the apartment, job applications, waiver for my student loans, movies (Bruce Almighty, Winged Migration, Legally Blonde II, and Phonebooth), dry cleaning, drug store, and just chillin' with myself. P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

How's your 2004 looking so far?